Time Is A Commodity

“This is the most authentic conversation I’ve had in years!”

This was the response I received from a new co-worker during a morning conversation as I shared the story of my life, while openly and honestly answering her follow-up questions. When I recount the twists and turns of my life, in a short 40 years, it does sound quite fascinating. At first, it was a journey I was ashamed of; from growing up poor, being a top tier cheerleader turned juvenile delinquent, and getting married before graduating high school, to being a war-time Army wife and then a police officer.

The shame I felt was in the comparison of myself to my colleagues, individuals who attended a four-year college, while I struggled to complete an online program while raising a 3 year old. Sitting there speaking to my colleague, I felt a significant amount of shame for choosing to turn my life upside down to live an authentic and happy one. What she said in that moment was magic for me. It helped me understand that people want real, they want authenticity, warmth, thoughtfulness, honest conversations, and to relate to one another. They want to know they are not alone in experiencing life and what it means to live it.

So what does this have to do with time being a commodity? Everything.

Maybe Later

First let me assure there will be no shaming here. Just an honest conversation between us, that I hope will inspire you to have an honest conversation with yourself, then your partner.

In attempting to outrun my past, and prove my worth, my value, and my worthiness I threw myself into my new career as a police officer. Taking extra shifts, signing up to work the holidays, going to K9 trainings on my spare time because I aspired to join the unit. My ex-husband and I were passing ships. He would be on his way to work by the time I arrived back home, and I was on my way to start my shift as he walked through the door. Ultimately, we became roommates, then strangers.

Now this may not be the case for everyone, but for many couples this is the reality of their relationships. Brief moments defined by a quick kiss as they head out the door to the busyness of life. So often, when they realize that it’s been months since their last date, it becomes an item to check off on the to-do list, and yet, it somehow seems to get bumped to the bottom to maybe later, or never.

We all know the truth; relationships move past a point of newness, passion, and excitement to one of comfort, familiarity, and routine. It’s in the routine that many couples continuously say, “maybe later,” when it comes to dating each other. Yet they are willing to jump through hoops for their jobs, their kids, and their family. Over time, “maybe later,” turns into once a year or never. This concept leads me to addressing a comment I received not to long ago about being The Couples’ Concierge and planning dates for individuals in long-term relationships… “yeah, but anyone can Google date ideas.”

Anyone Can Google Date Ideas

As a vendor at a recent bridal show an older gentleman, also a vendor,  scoffed at my idea and was quickly informed of how silly a statement he had made. In response I asked, “when was your last date night?”

In which he replied… “Ummm, our anniversary.”

“Okay and when was that?”

With a blush on his face he said, “May.” (It should noted the event was in November)

“Okay. No worries, it’s pretty common for couples to only go out for an anniversary. How many years were you celebrating?”

With eyebrows raised and with pride he said, “15 years!”

“Congratulations! 15 years is great, in fact most would consider it a milestone. I find that people celebrate milestone anniversaries the most. You know, like five, ten, or fifteen.” While making my statement, I could see this gentleman’s face shift from excitement to nervousness as he began looking around the room and biting his lower lip. I had him! “What did you do to celebrate?” I asked.

The gentleman softly responded, “We went out to dinner and a movie.”

There it was. The cliché date of dinner and a movie, which typically costs $123, as a means to celebrate 15 years of partnership. A partnership that has had ups and downs, wins and losses, disagreements and compromise, and tears and laughter. Please understand two things here: One - my goal is never to shame or embarrass anyone when having realization conversations. Two - I love the challenge of proving to people the need for my business.

With a lower tone and gentleness in my voice as a way to impart a lack of judgment, I said, “That is why Love Spark exists. Yes anyone can Google date ideas just like anyone can purchase date-nights-in-a-box, but not everyone can take the story of your relationship journey and create something remarkable to celebrate what you have truly accomplished.”

With a bashful grin and running his hand through his hair he said, “Alright you got me. Can I get a card? I will be giving you a call next year.”

With triumph in my heart, I said, “If I can ask you one last question, did you use Google at all?

With a chuckle he said, “Not at all.”

Time Is A Commodity and Commodities Have Value

The point to the story is, that time is a commodity and all commodities have value, which is why they are bought and sold. If you don’t see it yet, then here’s the truth. We are all buying and selling our time. Each time we choose to scroll on social media, we are selling our time for entertainment. Each day when we wake up we are selling our time to our jobs for money that supports us. When we go to the gym 3 - 5 times per week we are selling our time for better health. We all buy and sell our time. The problem is that oftentimes we don’t realize that we are selling our time to everyone except those who deserve it most. It was a very difficult lesson that my ex-husband, our son, and my bonus kids all learned the hard way.

Love Spark exists, because it does exactly what every other service is meant to do, it helps you exchange your money for more time. When dining out, even though you have perfectly edible and cookable food at home, you are exchanging money for the time you save by not cooking (the deliciousness is just a bonus). When you go to the hair stylist you are exchanging money for time (the fresh look would really take you hours). When you hire your lawn care or snow removal you are exchanging money for time.

There are plenty of services we even use on a regular basis that help us save time and enhance  experiences. Love Spark is no different. Instead of using Google, or ordering a date-night-in-a-box, or doing something your friends recommend, we use your relationship as the blueprint to curating a date the is especially for you! And if you are looking to make dating each other a regular activity, we offer memberships that are crafted based upon other amazing businesses, outings, and activities local to Greater Lansing and surrounding cities like Grand Rapids, Detroit, and Ann Arbor. So, stop stalling, stop saying “maybe later,” treat your partner as precious as they are by using Love Spark to give you back your time to enjoy it with the one you love most.

Tonya Jean